Page 53 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

(may be anguish is the right word in English). When I contemplated on it the next day I thought why should one feel anguish when we have faith in Rev. Master. I do not feel that anymore. I felt helpless and a thought thereafter that submit everything to Rev. Master.
Anguish is an indication of the mellowness of the heart which is one of the primary spiritual characteristics. The concern for others is a development in the consciousness of a person and is indicative of the process of going beyond the boundary of self (body and mind)
25. Felt everyone is beyond body consciousness and all are one in Master’s Consciousness. Felt dependency. Felt yearning and light. Had thoughts of recent past and thoughts of childhood days spent in native place.
We can legitimately talk about us and to talk about others is not proper.
26. Felt Master is always near. We forget Him for so many reasons. Felt devoted and dependency.
Awareness of the nearness of the Master has to be cultivated very assiduously; contra awareness has to be reduced considerably.
27. There was an experience where a delicate creeper was growing all over a thorny cactus making the whole thing look beautiful.
Sundaram is a noble idea that we have about God.
28. There were four instances of feeling of total outside silence as if someone closed my ears.
Outside silence that we talk about is not the same thing as you describe. Please do read our literature carefully.
29. Satsangs and Sittings: Deep calmness. Feeling of closeness. Feeling of dependency. During individual sitting, there was an experience of diving deep and moving around strange kinds of fish at the bottom. Thoughts about submission to Master. Some times there is a feeling of self-doubt and lack of confidence.
With the experiences mentioned above this feeling is really not proper. When