Page 188 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

and sacrifice are the main pillars of spirituality and happy to note that you have them.
2. Serve Him with love and devotion and you become a subject in the Kingdom of God.
3. I am happy that the celebrations are going on well over as it should. Any service to Master gets rewarded sooner or later.
Devotion
1. Generally calm but occasionally I tend to worry over any failures in doing my sadhana. Up to the first 10 days of June, I had continuous feelings related to devotion / dedication / surrender but later I slipped down.
There must be reasons why this devotedness to Master slipped down. Analyse and then avoid such lapses and then you will be able to stay in the desired condition.
2. During last one month, I have been crying so often both during morning meditation and evening Satsangh, all the while requesting the Master to take me ‘Home’. I am lost and directionless. Only He can guide me and lead me Homewards.
I must say that you seem to be more emotional by nature. We weep when our heart is not capable of taking the feelings and this is not good in spiritual life. It is true every devotee feels like weeping either in thought of being with the Master or being away from Him. But when devotion develops into Prapanna gati things change and further on it is more natural. All these things will come to you as you practice and mature in spirituality.
3. Thoughts of school and some past. Felt it’s a blessing to receive Divine Grace. Felt gratitude for the same. Felt silence and all of a sudden was alert / attentive. Felt reverence, love and longing.
These are signs of the devotion that is maturing in you and you should be happy.