Page 153 - Liberal Exposition of Pranahuti Aided Meditation

If you don’t learn your alphabets properly, I am sure you are not going to understand any literature. So also if you do not know how to write diary and if you don’t start writing diary, the chances are that you will miss the finer aspects of your sadhana. Why should I at all know? What is the need for me to know? After all I will be what I am, even without writing diary I will be that. As I told you in the beginning, you will be in a position to rectify your mistakes, you will be in a position to strengthen your efforts. You will feel certain times you have deep inclination for meditation, certain times you do not have any inclination at all, you don’t want to do it. Those of you who have been studying literature or playing games know, that certain times alone you feel like playing, certain times you want to take off, you don’t go.
The necessity for perseverance is there and it can be accomplished only through diary because you can point out your own lapses to yourself and only when you are confident about somebody else with whom you can share your diary, you will be in a position to share it with him and take further assistance from him. There are many many things you will not be in a position to say openly. Your defects are such you are not in a position to tell anybody but you have one friend, God, to whom you can tell. It is much better to put it in writing, this is what I have told Him, that enables you further to feel that this is the thing which you should get rid of. You will make a determination to get rid of that. It can be desires of various types which really obstruct your sadhana but if you make a note of it, you try to come out of it, the diary tells you this.
Now, I talked about the goal and I also said that we are not very clear about it. As far as the levels of human life, we are not living at that level. Now what is it that we should do? Then we say immediately the Prayer says since you are not able to live at the level of human being, we say ‘I am yet but slave of wishes putting a bar to my advancement’. We say this very very clearly. It is your own obstructions, your wishes. Which are those wishes that are standing against you? Diary helps you to analyze it better. Few minutes you take it to record, will tell you which are the wishes that are standing against you and what you should do to get rid of it. Determination alone gets rid of these things, it is a sankalpa that is. Now, this is where this particular system, the value of the system is there. Traditionally when people said that wishes are there and you have got to control it. There are so many drives that