Page 342 - Bodhayanti Parasparam Vol 1

BODHAYANTI PARASPARAM
knows how badly he was a slave of his wishes, then the question dawns, “is it possible for me, or was it possible for me to come to this stage of refuge?” Then he knows that it must be only His grace which has brought him to this stage. Out of humility he says this and it is at a very high stage in spirituality.
In the beginning it is a very conscious decision he takes to reach the ultimate. It is a very conscious decision, very personalised decision. He decides “I shall do this sadhana and get out of my wishes', but when he really succeeds in getting out of the wishes and grows in the spiritual realm, he starts recognising the influx of Divinity then says 'perhaps even in the beginning I would not have started but for this”. What is truth at a higher level, if it is unfortunately accepted at a lower level, one becomes once and for all the laziest fellow in Sadhana. We should do our sadhana as it ought to be done, then only we progress, whichever system you follow, do the sadhana. Do not expect the results from the first day, it will come after some time.
Now what is Sadhana about? Having
understood the goal of human life, that is to live with 338